So, as many of our friends and family know, Derick will soon be medically separated from the good ol' Marine Corps. It's taken a lot of tears and cups of coffee for me to process my life without someone in digiflage calling most of the shots. Call me crazy, insane, or a masochist but I like this life. It may be hard and not always ideal, but it's been "the normal" for me since I packed up my things at newly 20 years old and headed off to California to be with my new Marine husband.
So, here we are - 6 years, 2 deployments, and 3 kids later and we're facing the dreaded word that most military families cringe at ... CIVILIAN life! Eeeeeek! Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of praying the last few months. Which leads me to the point of my rambling. About 2 weeks ago I decided I needed to pray... and when I say pray, I didn't mean the couple word prayers that I sometimes sputter out when I'm aggravated or upset ( "Lord, help me not kill my children")... No, I mean the long, heart to heart, soul cleansing, comforting, conversation with God. So I went to the only place where I ever have a smidgen of privacy - the bathroom! I figured God wouldn't mind. And I spent about 40 minutes just talking and praying with him. I gave up the burden of worry and anxiety that had been weighing on me about this whole job process for Derick. I prayed God would open the right doors and lead our family to the right job for him. I prayed for God to change me, allow me to be the wife Derick needed me to be, the mother my kids needed me to be, and most of all, I prayed for peace and comfort as we enter this new chapter of our lives that is very much unknown right now. I gave the entire situation to Him and asked for God to control it. Whatever His will was, then that's what I wanted. I left that bathroom feeling a heck of a lot better than when I went into it.
The next day, Derick came home and told me he had an interview with a certain job he had been interested in. Then a few days later, another job opened up to him. A few days after that, a road block we had encountered regarding the military and a certain civilian job was removed. Little by little, I could see things changing. It's like I'm watching and witnessing God carving out the path for our family.
I saw a quote in one of my Bible devotionals. It read "
"Prayer does not change the purpose of God. But prayer does change the action of God."
My 40 minutes in the bathroom may have been just a minuscule amount of time but I believed it changed alot. I'm now not so anxious or worried by our future but I have peace that no matter what, we'll be taken care of. And you can bet I'll be spending a lot more time on my knee's ... in the bathroom. :)
